Thursday, March 17, 2011

Son of CBI Craziness (i.e. The Worst Idea Ever) Standings: 1st Round!

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This idea was worse than any of those.

I’ve had some bad ideas in my life. I once tried to forge my Mom’s signature on a particularly poor progress report (brilliant move, trying to perpetuate academic fraud on a teacher—dear beloved late Mom smelled that one out a mile away). I went on a blind date with a girl with a criminal record (hey, maybe she was framed—no, she wasn’t).

I wore a mullet until my second semester at Hofstra—that was the spring of 1994—until one of my fellow editors at The Chronicle finally screamed some sense into me. I invited my future wife to spend New Year’s Eve with me in Connecticut in 1995 and assured her it wouldn’t take me that long to cover that New Year’s Day road race the next morning. Do you know how long it took to get race results during the infant days of the Internet? Let me tell you: A damn long time.

Anyway, all the forged progress reports and girls with criminal pasts and 1994 mullets and freezing New Year’s Day mornings spent waiting for race results with a very cold and very unhappy future wife combined couldn’t match the epic suckitude of my latest and worst idea yet: A SECOND CBI pool. Because really, the first one led to such great things for the Flying Dutchmen, and ended so well (prize is in the mail, @VCUPav!). This is the faux gambling version of green-lighting the sequel to The Adventures of Pluto Nash.

Sure enough, forming a CBI pool was once again terrible karma for the Dutchmen—good news, though, Hofstra was not the first team to fall to 0-2 in CBI play, thank you very much Nevada!!!—which is just one reason why this will not happen again. Mostly because if Hofstra ever even THINKS of accepting a bid to the CBI in the future, I’ll be too busy (climbing to the top of Shuart Stadium and vowing not to leave until the school changes its mind) to run a pool.

But since I made the commitment to a CBI pool while fueled on adrenaline and a lack of sleep, I may as well try to see it through and PRAY either my wife or Loyal Reader @NUHF—both of whom are among the eight people tied for first—win it all because then I won’t have to ante up a prize.

Alas, my wife, like just about everyone else in this game who has ever taken a class at Hofstra, picked the Dutchmen to win it all, so her chances aren’t that good. Speaking of the Dutchmen, nobody will be perfect in the most imperfect bracket game ever because EVERY SINGLE ONE of our 21 contestants (hey that’s not bad for six hours) picked Hofstra to beat Evansville Tuesday night. I’m shocked. I figured someone—a Mason fan—would have joined just to pick Evansville and piss me off.

Oh and guess who is tied for last, with only one semifinalist left. Worst. Idea. Ever.

I’ve already spent way too much time on this. There will be no Just The Facts: CBI Bracket in which I break down the stats on how each game was picked, but you’ll get over it. Now I will post the standings and be done with this, thankfully, until after the second round Monday!


Michelle Beach 6
Mike Brodsky 6
Jaymes Langrehr 6
Mitch Merman 6
Dominic Pody 6
Craig Smith 6
Rick Vizzi 6
Lee Warner 6

Lori Chase 5
Raphielle Johnson 5
Nick Mazzarella 5
Gary Moore 5
John Templon 5

Chris Crowley 4
P.J. Harmer 4
Christian Heimall 4
Elise Manicke-Russell 4
Rob & Todd (JMU Sports Blog) 4

Jerry Beach 3
Victoria Rossi 3
Geoffrey Sorensen 3

Email Jerry at or follow Defiantly Dutch at

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