Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Oh the humanity: Son of CBI Craziness Standings, Round Two

Have fun with Vicki (err, VCU), Bill (err, Mike)! This clip will also be enjoyed by Son of CBI Craziness leader Craig. In fact, it might just serve as his prize. I don't know.

Sometimes life really sucks. The beautiful part about rooting for a mid-major is the shared collective geekdom. We are perpetual outsiders, doomed to always be gazing through the fence at the beautiful people as we laugh at our own inside jokes about Airplane! quotes and John Waite songs and remind ourselves we wouldn’t want to be THEM anyway.

Once in a great while we might be invited to their party, but we are usually escorted from the premises after wolfing down some pigs in blankets and are home in our rented apartments and ratty sweats by the time the main course is served. It really is like the adult version of high school.

But this never happened in high school. Not only was one of our friends invited to the big party, but well after most of the guests have left, the prom queen is doing her damndest to give him mono. Or, in this case, our so-called good friend Mike Litos traveling to San Antonio to chronicle VCU’s Sweet Sixteen appearance for both and VCU’s official website.

We always imagined how awesome it would be if this—going to the Sweet Sixteen, never mind actually covering it—happened to one of us, but a.) the one of us is never anybody else in the group and b.) we never ACTUALLY wanted it to happen to anybody else in the group. We’re selfish, small bastards wracked by jealousy. We’re not happy for our friend, we’re wondering what the hell the prom queen sees in him. I HELPED YOU WITH YOUR HOMEWORK IN HOMEROOM AND LOCKERED NEXT TO YOU FOR FOUR YEARS, WHERE’S MY MONO?!

Anyway. While Litos is off living the dream, we’re here posting the standings to Son of CBI Craziness—the adulthood version of gathering in a fellow geek’s basement and watching some movies that have to be back at the video store by Monday morning.

No, wait, this is much worse. Nothing in high school was ever as bad as sifting through the Son of CBI Craziness while our so-called geek friend is off sucking face with greatness. Life sucks, boo hoo.

In all seriousness, we are as thrilled for Litos as we are sick of the CBI and all gambling pools associated with it. But we committed to this stupid thing so we may as well see it through and show the standings through two rounds as well as remind all of you the semifinals start tonight and that you need to send in your picks for the remainder of the tournament. Because, as you may or may not have forgotten, the CBI is so awesome, it tears up the bracket and starts anew for the semifinals. Yay!

Emails/Tweets/Facebook messages will be sent as well, but in case you’re in the pool and you stumble across this, pick the winners of the semifinal games (Central Florida at Creighton and Boise State at Oregon) as well as the winner of the championship series and the number of games that damn thing takes. You get four points for each semifinal game you pick correctly and eight points for correctly picking the winner of the championship series (seriously, CBI, a championship series?!).

Get your picks in tonight by 8, which may or may not be an hour after the first semifinal game starts. Who cares for crying out loud? It’s the CBI.

All that said, I am seriously considering ending this now, not only because it sucks but because semi-Loyal Reader Craig Smith is lapping the field. He broke an eight-way tie for first place by somehow picking all four winners in the second round, which means—duh—he has all four finalists and that he almost surely can’t be beat if Central Florida wins the whole thing and he gets a 16-point bonus for picking them before this charade started. Congrats, Craig. I think. Damnit now I have to find a prize.

Four other contestants, led by Loyal Reader Mike Brodsky, are in double digits. Make sure to add that to your resumes! At the other end, I am no longer in last place, thanks to fellow Extreme and Scrubs fan Joe Suhoski, but hey, there’s still two rounds to go, plenty of time for this CBI experience to get even worse!

Anyway, the standings. Let us never speak of this again, or at least until after the semifinals tonight.


Craig Smith 14

Mike Brodsky 12

John Templon 11

Dominic Pody 10
Rick Vizzi 10

Nick Mazzarella 9

Chris Crowley 8
Jaymes Langrehr 8
Elise Manicke-Russell 8
Lee Warner 8

Gary Moore 7

Michelle Beach 6
P.J. Harmer 6
Mitch Merman 6

Lori Chase 5
Raphielle Johnson 5
Geoffrey Sorensen 5

Christian Heimall 4
Rob & Todd (JMU Sports Blog) 4

Jerry Beach 3
Victoria Rossi 3

Joe Suhoski 2

Email Jerry at or follow Defiantly Dutch at

1 comment:

P.J. said...

Where's the latest update?? Oh man... how'd the pool go??