Saturday, January 8, 2011

In which I compare the 3-0 CAA start to young lust, thereby once again invoking Aerosmith, and hope our Boston brethren don’t end the honeymoon today

Fun fact: The actual video for this song is X-rated. Who knew? Good thing I checked! Also, yes, I will apparently craft a headline around every Aerosmith song from Pump and Get A Grip

They don’t pay me good money here (and by “they” I mean “I”) to come up with new and more profane ways to declare how much I don’t like George Mason, or to find a different and helpful way to look at Hofstra basketball, or to come up with witty and original descriptors.

But for the longest time (that’s to see if new reader Missy is still reading) following the suck it Mason win over Mason, I couldn’t come up with the proper way to describe what it’ll be like going from playing Mason to playing Northeastern tomorrow.

I mean, Hofstra and Northeastern, we’re as close as Hofstra and Mason are contemptuous—certainly tighter than either school is with anyone else in this conference in which we are now so obviously misplaced. We’re obvious Northern Bias schools. Ten days after Northeastern exterminated football, Hofstra followed suit (but that’s just coincidence, snort).

Tom Pecora’s favorite coach in the league he so loathed was Northeastern’s Bill Coen. The two teams couldn’t stop complimenting each other after the Huskies edged the Flying Dutchmen 74-71 in a classic double overtime duel in last year’s CAA Tournament,

Personally speaking, approximately three-quarters of my followers on Twitter are from Northeastern, and about half of those went to Hofstra before embarking upon grad school at Northeastern. (Mild exaggerations) I worked in Boston for four years, and loved every second of it. (No exaggeration) I’d be one happy guy if I could figure out a way to blog about Hofstra from Boston. In fact, when I win the lottery, I’m going to piss away my winnings by moving to Boston, starting a Red Sox website and getting limousine service to and from Hofstra games every winter. (My wife doesn’t know this yet, so don’t tell her)

And I almost forgot: Long Island and Boston are home to two of the greatest musical acts to ever grace the Earth, Billy Joel and Extreme. So yeah. I like Boston, and can’t wait to head into Matthews Arena tomorrow (unless the useless meteorologists of the world screw up another forecast and it takes me 18 hours to go 120 miles, but I digress and will rant about that in the Five Pregame Thoughts).

Oh, and finally, after 24 or so hours of pondering, I came up with a way to describe what tomorrow will be like. Imagine getting “get a room you two” freaky in public with your smoking hot new girlfriend (or boyfriend), all in front of your wicked (see what I did there?) stupid ex-girlfriend (or ex-boyfriend). You know how satisfying that is? That’s what Wednesday felt like. I think I need serious therapy.

Anyway, tomorrow is like taking that awesome hot new girlfriend (or boyfriend) to meet the family. It’s going to be nice and comfortable and everyone’s going to like everyone and the honeymoon is going to continue. Probably. Hopefully. As long as everything goes according to plan. We don’t really know.

See, this 3-0 CAA record is the basketball version of those first glorious couple weeks with that new girlfriend (or boyfriend). We had no idea how great this was going to be, no idea that a seemingly routine first date would turn into this torrid love affair. Hofstra is all alone in first place, for God’s sake. That’s like—umm, well, you know, it’s like stuff I probably shouldn’t mention here. But it’s good.

We know it’s early, and a lot can go wrong, but damnit, we don’t want to think about that now. We just want to enjoy the ride, enjoy the good feelings, enjoy the euphoria. We just want to umm, keep watching the Flying Dutchmen win games, and worry about if this is built to last later.

We know, though. We know that even if it is the real deal, there will be hiccups. No relationship remains blissfully carefree forever and nobody goes 18-0, or even 16-2. Hopefully it doesn’t happen today, or Wednesday, or even next Saturday against preseason favorite Old Dominion. But it will happen. At some point, someone will say something stupid or someone’s friends will grumble that someone is spending too much time with that new girlfriend or boyfriend or…well, something will happen. That is guaranteed.

And Northeastern is the type of place where it could happen. The Huskies are 0-3, one of three teams winless in CAA play, and crazy young: Your good friend and mine Mike Litos noted that through Dec. 31, Northeastern’s freshmen and sophomores had combined to play 1,839 minutes. Juniors and seniors played 606—all but 14 from seniors Chase Allen and Vinny Luma.

Northeastern also wasn’t playing very good defense, at least before Wednesday’s sludgy 49-34 loss to Old Dominion, and Coen won’t tolerate that for long. That second figure, by the way, is not a misprint. It’s better to take on the Huskies in Boston now than in February, when they will be the spoiler nobody wants to face, but you’ve got to figure that the Huskies will be an ornery bunch Saturday and eager to take out their aggressions (figuratively speaking, the program is pure class), even if the target is a familial foe.

Once the shine does come off, the real test begins. And we of course believe in the Flying Dutchmen’s ability to bounce back, become better for the rough patch and build a better relationship because of it, so to speak. But man, I hope it doesn’t happen today, because this young lust is fun for us middle-aged types.

Email Jerry at or follow Defiantly Dutch at

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