Saturday, April 2, 2011

No fooling, our long national nightmare is over: The End of CBI Craziness

The CBI deserved to be decided on this wretched excuse for a basketball court.

The CBI dragged it out as long as freaking humanly possible, but finally, blissfully, humanely, the worst postseason tournament in the history of sports is over after Oregon edged Creighton, 81-79, in the winner-take-all third game (really, CBI? A best-of-three?) last night in Oregon.

And of course it ended on April Fools Day in appropriately disorganized and foolish fashion. According to the Twitters, Oregon scored the tie-breaking basket with two seconds left after Creighton was called for a backcourt violation. Apparently, it’s impossible to see the midcourt line at the new and of course hideous-looking Phil Knight-funded Matthew Knight Arena, as you can see—or not see—up above.

On the bright side, Creighton, you were spared winning the CBI. So take solace in that.

Alas, unfortunately for those of us who are looking at the CBI Craziness trends, the Oregon win allowed John Templon to edge out Hofstra graduate Jaymes Langrehr for the Son of CBI Craziness championship. Last year’s winner, VCU Pav, is off watching the Final Four this weekend, so therefore this year’s winner will get to watch HIS alma mater in the Final Four this time next year.

Enjoy your alma mater’s Final Four trip next year, John, and enjoy the damn prize that I have to muster up now. John’s title and his prize are well-earned—or as well-earned as anything about the CBI can be—after he picked Oregon at the start of this wretched abomination and correctly guessed three of the CBI’s final four teams as well.

Nobody picked Creighton initially—that’s what happens when a pool consists almost exclusively of fans of Hofstra, the CAA and the Atlantic 10—so Jaymes almost took advantage of our very CBI-like second chance semifinal picks to swoop in from fifth place and steal the “crown.” But it was not meant to be, and for that he should be relieved. Other than that whole Hofstra not going to the Final Four thing next year, that is.

Here are the final standings of Son of CBI Craziness. Let us never speak of the CBI again, except to mock it incessantly.

John Templon 43
Mike Brodsky 28
Nick Mazzarella 21
Craig Smith 18
Jaymes Langrehr 16
Gary Moore 15
Dominic Pody 14
Rick Vizzi 14
Raphielle Johnson 13
Chris Crowley 12
Elise Manicke-Russell 12
P.J. Harmer 10
Jerry Beach 7
Joe Suhoski 6

These awesome people didn’t take advantage of the semifinal second chance and re-pick the rest of the bracket, and for that they have my utmost admiration. Notice my wife is in there. Told you she was the smart one.

Lee Warner 8
Michelle Beach 6
Mitch Merman 6
Lori Chase 5
Geoffrey Sorensen 5
Christian Heimall 4
Rob & Todd (JMU Sports Blog) 4
Victoria Rossi 3

Thank goodness that’s over. Let’s go VCU—though I can’t shake this feeling that Butler is the Rams’ biggest challenge yet, if only because the ultra-cool Bulldogs won’t fold like USC, Georgetown, Purdue and Kansas did at the first sign of trouble. Either way, no matter what happens, you know the media bore head coach of a certain Virginia-based school that also bears a three-letter acronym and made the Final Four as an 11 seed will be yakking about it. It’s almost enough to make me pine for the days of CBI Craziness. Almost.

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